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Dealing with health issues
Problem: I guess you could say that I am "health challenged." I have not ever been particularly well, but lately it just seems worse. I just wonder if I am literally making myself sick.
When I was a child, I was told that I had to be so careful not to be around people who were sick, because I was so sensitive and sickly that I would become sick as well. It was true that I seemed to catch everything that went around, but I think it made me super aware of illness. I remember not being able to be around other children. If I had a sniffle, I was near pneumonia or that is what my mother believed.
My mother's voice is still running through my mind: be careful the flu is going around and you could get sick again, stay away from sick people, keep your hands clean and get rid of those germs. Most of my adult life I have been to the doctor for everything. With all of my doctor visits they hardly ever find anything specifically wrong with me. My last doctor suggested that I seek counseling, which made me think that he believed I was mentally ill, not just physically sick. I admit that I read a lot about illness and do have medical books that tell about all kinds of symptoms.
What should I do? Am I in need of counseling? I have to say that I am hardly ever involved in lasting relationships, which is also a problem to me. I am so preoccupied with my life and health that most men are turned off, and leave very quickly after my discussions about illness.
Discussion: Since I am a counselor, I would also suggest that you seek someone who does have the time to listen and help you sort through the messages you got from your parent and the real messages you are receiving from your body today. You sound preoccupied with health or lack of it. In as much as you learned how to do this behavior, you can unlearn some of this kind of thinking.
When all you do is look for something to be wrong, you are more likely to find something wrong. If you read about illness for fear of being ill, and to check out your symptoms, you may just find what you are looking for. This is not an unusual thing, but I am sure it is something that can be overcome with work. Your doctors are telling you are healthy and that you do not have much wrong with you. The men who have been in your life do not stay long because of your preoccupation with being ill, if I understood correctly. Could it be that maybe your way of thinking is skewed toward looking for what is wrong instead of what is right?
I have seen many clients who have had this difficulty, and I do believe that because of the huge mind/body connection that they did indeed create some of their own health issues. I don't know enough about you individually, but can say that you would most likely do yourself some good by finding someone who has a sense of what you are going through and is insightful enough to help you. Please bear in mind that asking for help is a great strength, because it is about finding answers to your life.
P.S. Counseling can be a life changing event, when you go in for the right reasons. Mostly wanting to change is what provokes people to seek out help.
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