Take care of yourself first
Problem: It is hard to say this but I think I have some depression going on. I have been one of those people who has been able to do so much. I have prided myself on being a hard worker. My children have depended on me; my husband has also done the same thing. I just feel right now in my life as it is that I cannot take anyone else depending on me.
I think I have given to the church, the ladies of the church, the community and my friends for years. I want to just yell at everyone and tell them to take care of all this stuff. I am finding out people take and take and seem very ungrateful if you are not willing to give back 100 percent or more. I am tired, disappointed and possibly depressed.
What can I do?
Discussion: How about being honest? If you are overwhelmed and do not feel like taking care of everything and everybody, is that a problem of yours or theirs? The one thing about people saying yes to excessive demands from others is people get used to you helping and finding their solutions for them. Why would they expect less? You have done for them seemingly without complaint.
If you stand up for yourself and quit being everyone’s doormat, I think you would get more respect and probably be less tired and down. When we give everything we have to others, there is just not much left for us. Your first responsibility is to yourself, because if you run yourself into the ground, you can’t be of help to yourself or others.
Yes this is a problem, but it is not insurmountable. You simply must begin to take care of yourself. When you learn to take care of yourself by learning to say no to taking care of everyone else’s problems, you will have more energy to take care of yourself.
If you willingly gave, you really can’t blame others. You need to learn to say no gracefully and do not make more commitments to take care of others lives as you need to begin to take care of yours. A simple reply to do a favor is: I am not taking on any more projects right now I am evaluating my life and need the time to do that.
To submit problems contact Juanita Sanchez, psychotherapist, by email at email@example.com or contact High Plains Journal.