Learn to love yourself
Problem: I have been so disheartened because I have been working on losing weight for such a long time. I lose a little then I gain a little all the way to a weight of over the top. I can’t even bring myself to say the number but it is over 200 pounds.
My husband has been a great support, and he has never complained about my weight. I just can’t imagine how he hasn’t been embarrassed by my size. He says to me that I am beautiful. I just don’t get what he sees in me.
I have purchased so many books and DVDs on this topic, but nothing helps. I have just about giving up and do not know how to get to another place.
Discussion: There are so many rules and guidelines out there on what to eat, how to exercise and how to change your life. I am not certain that it is about losing weight as much as it is about loving yourself no matter what weight you are at. If you continue to berate yourself and put yourself down and make yourself feel bad because you weigh what you weigh, it could be that you are the problem.
If you cannot have a loving relationship with yourself, it could be that no matter what you weigh, you will not find contentment. You may have heard that we must love ourselves. I would like for you to begin some simple affirmations:
I love myself.
I approve of myself.
I am not my weight on a scale.
I am healthy.
I take care of myself.
I eat when I am hungry, and I eat what I believe I want.
I quit eating when I have had enough.
I exercise regularly.
I can do whatever I want to do, step by step, little by little.
I am moving forward.
I am consistent.
I can be moderate in all choices.
I am smart and capable.
Maybe this sounds simplistic, but it is a way of beginning to love yourself. Putting yourself down is a way of negating progress in any area of life. I recall a meditation in which you were called to love yourself as your only child. If you have children, you know that you would never treat your child like you are treating yourself.
Try simple small changes and love yourself, and you will find a different outcome. Being consistent in doing healthy things will get you much further than what you have been doing.
Here is another affirmation: My affirmations work even when I deny that they can.
Remember there is something above and beyond you that is always at work for your best.
If there is one thing that I am certain of is that if you do not love yourself you get stuck. You do not believe that anyone can love you because you don’t.
A little counseling on self-esteem would not hurt.
To submit problems contact Juanita Sanchez, psychotherapist, by email at firstname.lastname@example.org or contact High Plains Journal.