Problem: I spend a lot of time thinking of my age. I am about to turn 50, the big “5-0” my friends tell me. They say I am going through a mid-life crisis? This is so strange because I have never been the kind to worry about age. I can’t help aging, but what I usually think about is how long am I going to live and did my life mean anything?
I find the time I spend thinking about this issue rather depressing, as it seems to create more problems. There are times I do not sleep, and my wife says I am preoccupied and unavailable.
I have been a hard worker and I have done well, but I feel there is something missing. I really have not had a vacation in years. My wife has not really been on board with my constant “I have to work” mentality. I guess I am getting a glimmer that life may be more than work. I like my work and cannot think of anything I would rather do, but maybe there is more to life.
Discussion: It seems like you are having questions about the rest of your life. Maybe it is not a crisis, but it could be more of an evaluation of where do I go from here? I think it is a natural occurrence that people begin to ask bigger questions as they age.
It sounds like you are a good worker, but not much of a person who knows how to relax. Perhaps you love your work, but by the same token you need to love time spent doing nothing and relaxing with a spouse and family. The times you spend enjoying family will soon pass, as your children grow up and leave home. If you have not taken the time to spend with them, you cannot get the time back. Here is a big question: What have you taught you children about life?
It sounds like the message is that work is everything! You are sending children out into the real world with what you have taught them: good or bad lessons about life. What can you do when you find the message or lesson you gave was faulty? Correct the lesson in person and let them know you could have been misguided.
Back to the issue of your evaluation, if you have found that life is about a lot more than work, then live your new message. Take a vacation learn to enjoy the time you have left. You never know how much time you have, so it is rather important to live life in a fuller way. Work can be joyful and enjoyable, but there is more to life. It sounds like you are getting a glimmer of that.
Tip: You are your message—what is your message?
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