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Dealing with problems

Problem: I have been thinking about a lot of problems lately. I feel pretty down and the more I think the more I feel down. It is kind of a vicious cycle. It seems like the more I think, the more the problems seem to have no real solution.

If I get away for a while and get busy with something else, I can distract myself and then I do not feel so overwhelmed. I can’t constantly distract myself this way because shopping and spending money is pretty hard to maintain.

The problems are family oriented and I think that the issues are so intense because it is about my aging parents. Taking care of them is so difficult and I feel I have lost my real parents and now I just have a small part of who they were.

I feel so sad about this issue that I fall into grief. I think my pattern is then to muddle there for awhile. I am tired and sometimes lost, but I cannot quit helping them.

Discussion: You must be a baby boomer or around that age. You and a lot of other people are dealing with this same problem. Often times there is one child that ends up taking care of the parents as other siblings are often seemingly too busy or out of the area.

It is a difficult issue and it sounds like you could use some help. I am not sure that you have tried the Internet for services for your parents or at the least, where to find those services. In every small or large city there are services for the elderly. I am not sure where you are on the continuum of nursing home to home health. I suggest you familiarize yourself with those services so that you can make an informed decision about how to help yourself and therefore your parents.

You simply need to take care of yourself in order to take care of your parents in the best way. It is so easy to fall in the muddle without a plan.

Please try and define what you feel has to be done and then outline how you can access help for them and for you. Without a simple plan things fall apart pretty fast. You cannot do everything for them because your health will suffer. Stress is a drain on your energy and vitality. Get some help for your sake.

Get to know your community and what is available and then move forward. A plan is imperative.

To submit problems contact Juanita Sanchez, psychotherapist, by email at or contact High Plains Journal.

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