A 'Siri-ous' situation
By Jennifer M. Latzke
Siri, we have a problem.
In the three months we've had this mobile relationship, you have been an incredible help to me. You found directions online to the interview location in the town I'd never been to before. You found contact information for sources for stories, and you even helped me organize my thoughts for that fundraiser I'm organizing.
But Siri, we have a problem, and it only became apparent last week in this conversation you and I had while I was driving to Amarillo.
"Siri, add 'Feedlot X' to my 'Story ideas' list."
"I've added 'Feel good X' to your 'Story ideas' list. Is this correct?"
"Siri, add 'Call Feedlot X' to my calendar."
"I've added 'Call Felix X' to your calendar at 9 a.m. tomorrow. Is this correct?"
"Siri. Add 'Call X about a story about steers."
"I've added 'Call Felix about a story about seeing eye dogs' to your calendar at 9 a.m. tomorrow. Is this correct?"
"No, Siri, you moron. Steers. I said STEERS!"
"I do not understand. Please repeat."
"I do not understand. Try again."
At this point, I had to physically stop myself from rolling down my window and throwing you, my expensive handheld mobile smartphone of the future, out into oncoming traffic.
Look, Siri, I know your creators come from a less than rural environment. I get that your vocabulary naturally leans toward the business world, maybe a dash of surfer dude thrown in. But you and I have to come to some sort of agreement for this relationship to work out.
So, I mean "livestock" not "litter box." Please don't replace "heifer" with "holster." And, I can't believe I'm even saying this, but when I say "cattle artificial insemination"--well, I just can't believe a nice faceless computerized assistant like you would use that phrase in public.
By the way, Siri, no one likes a smart aleck. So, next time I say "Siri, cancel my walking appointment for today," just keep your opinions to yourself.
Jennifer M. Latzke can be reached at 620-227-1807 or firstname.lastname@example.org.