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By Jerry Nine

(Nov. 28)--There are a few cattle turned out on wheat. But there are a lot of fields where the wheat is turning brown. I hear quite a lot of talk around from farmers within 100 miles that say they think their wheat is dying. There would have been a lot of cattle put on wheat pasture, but it is going to be a very limited amount if we do not get some moisture very soon. I'm not sure there is anything more challenging to a farmer or rancher than a drought unless perhaps it is a divorce. I was talking to a friend of mine who was letting off some steam, as he is in the process of a divorce. After a few minutes, I stopped him from talking and said, "You already had me convinced after the first minute about this marriage thing. But perhaps I should have you talk to my older sons. You might save them some heartache." The soon-to-be ex-husband still had a sense of humor, as it was early evening and he said, "I guess I better go buy some beer and start drinking." He said, "I'm sure you have heard that I am supposed to be an alcoholic." Another friend told me that when he was getting a divorce he was sitting in court and listening to the other lawyer tell all these negative things about him. He said, "I walked out of the courtroom and the lawyer had me convinced that I was a very sorry human being." He said, "The lawyer twisted the story around to where I felt like a heel."

I went into the coffee shop this morning and they were talking about the good ole days. They were talking about one man that ran a repair shop. Someone had stolen a battery from his business. So he ran an ad in the paper that said, "Whoever stole the battery needs to come back in the store. You forgot your warranty." Then they were talking about a boy in town that was going into people's houses and stealing women's underwear. One older woman laughed and said she was going to hang all her underwear out on the clothesline so he didn't have to bother coming into the house. I'm telling you--some days we cover a lot of topics while getting our morning coffee. One lady took out a small box with about 10 pills she had to take that morning. Her husband was sitting beside her. Both are about 70 years old. We were kidding her about one of those pills being birth control and the other Viagra. We said, "Don't get those pills mixed up. We don't want your husband trying to have a baby and you..." We didn't finish the sentence. It just does a person good to laugh. Life is short. Enjoy it.

Editor's note: Jerry Nine, Woodward, Okla., is a lifetime cattleman who grew up on his family's ranch near Laverne, Okla.

Date: 12/03/2012

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