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By Jerry Nine

(Dec. 19)--Most of the time at the coffee shop the topic of conversation is the weather. And for a long time that conversation is how dry it is. Wednesday morning started off good as far as the temperature, but I said to an older cowboy that I guess this afternoon the wind is supposed to blow 60 miles per hour and be like a blizzard. The 90-year-old cowboy responded by saying, "It won't be the first time the wind has blown like that."

A 98-year-old cowboy came in for breakfast and his brand is the 5 C Ranch. He walked in with his two sons and we said, "There are the 3 Cs. What do those 3 Cs stand for?" Various ones drinking coffee hollered out in a joking fashion, "C for caution." Another said, "C for careless." Another said, "C for senile" (evidently spelling wasn't their best subject). The older cowboy said, "Probably C for crap."

Another cowboy said he took several turkeys around to neighbors to give them for Christmas. He said he went by one widow's house, and he said all she was wearing was a cloak. I said, "What is a cloak? It is a cross between a coat and something else?" Then he made the mistake of saying he had a terrible kink in his neck. Of course, we immediately said it was probably from trying to look under that cloak.

Another rancher told about a friend of his who'd hired a man with dogs to come gather three wild yearlings that he could not capture. After his dogs got the cattle in the pen the rancher had said, "What do I owe you?" He said, "$200." The rancher very loudly repeated the words "$200," as if he thought that was way too high. So the man with the dogs walked over to the gate and turned the yearlings back out.

Then another rancher said he went to his daughter's last weekend for an early Christmas. After a long ride in the car, both he and his wife had to go to the bathroom very badly. They flung open the door and the wife ran to the one bathroom. The dad asked his daughter if the other bathroom worked or not, as he had to go very badly. The daughter was talking about the handle sticking and not flushing well, but she responded by saying, "Yes, but when you get through shake it well." The dad said, "Do you mean the handle?"

Have a Merry Christmas!

Editor's note: Jerry Nine, Woodward, Okla., is a lifetime cattleman who grew up on his family's ranch near Laverne, Okla.

Date: 12/24/2012



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