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In the death of a friend, I address my own mortalityBy Ken Root I'm 59 years old. That's young, right? Never mind that it used to be old; today it is middle age. "Sixty is the new 30," according to studies promoting activities that can be undertaken in the sixth and seventh decades. So understand my shock when a close friend died last week, a month after his 60th birthday. He was a big, strapping, loud and lively guy that made friends with everyone who likes that type of personality. You never had to worry that you would be the one talking loudest or making the boldest statement when he was in the room. He gave a sort of cover for everyone and he was quite entertaining in person and in his adventures and misadventures through life. Never sick, never frail, with no tell-tale signs of waning health, he died at his desk on Saint Patrick's Day. They could not revive him, even though the response was said to be quick and professional. This man of so much energy and enthusiasm, who was larger than life, was dead. The calls went out to friends and family and the shock was followed by the realization that we'd never see him again. That we'd never play golf with him or attend a race or ball game or community function with him and we'd also have to suck it up and attend a memorial service to say good-bye. With all this on the surface, my deepest thought was: "When is it my turn?" When will I be no more? What's my demise going to be like, not just for me, but for my family? It can really haunt you to think of the end of your own life but it can also be a revealing moment as one faces the ultimate truth with no chance of escape. My father would say that before he died, he wanted to be sick for a long time and then get well. I could never understand that except to see that death scared him and he wanted to avoid it. When we die is sometimes less important than how we die. No one wants to have the body live on after the mind is gone. No one wants to be unable to care for themselves and revert back to infant status. We all want to live well until the moment of death comes, and then be gone, but we know we can't make that choice ourselves. How and when we die is far less important than how we live. A great reinforcement of his life, that only his surviving wife could appreciate, is that friends showed up for his funeral by the hundreds. One of the memorial speakers gave the poem about the "dash" in our lives--the engraving on the marker between the date of birth and the date of death. What do we choose to do with that time? This is the ultimate value of a person. Not how long we live, but how we live in the time we have on this earth. All services seem to get around to religion and my friend only attended church to honor another friend who had departed. He would joke that his church was at "One Arrowhead Drive" which is the address of the Kansas City Chiefs' stadium. Yet his actions in life were in accordance with the teachings of Christianity, Buddhism, even Islam. He served his fellow man, cared for his wife, stood up for his community and would have laid down his life for his friends had the occasion presented itself. He lived large. He had an ability to connect to people of many backgrounds. He was the "Incredible Hulk" one moment and a little boy the next. He was an example, both good and bad, of how a person can navigate life from birth to death with honor, adventure and humor all along the way. I come from long-lived people. My genetics appear to be such that I can make my 80s, if my lifestyle doesn't interfere. But the length of my life is far less important than the contribution I make to my work, my family and my fellow man. I want to die with a legacy and dignity, but not yet. On another issue I'm heading for China this week with a delegation from the Iowa Soybean Association, led by Iowa Secretary of Agriculture Bill Northey. A travelogue of the trip "Root on the Road" is available at www.hpj.com with a link at the top of the home page. We will look at swine production in the area around Hong Kong and talk to producers about their health and nutrition challenges and we will meet with government officials in Beijing. China is clearly at the top of the news today. From its recent repression of Tibet to purchases of U.S. farm products to a growing middle class to the venue for the Olympic Games, what happens in China affects us. I will be contributing stories and commentary on these pages over the next few weeks. If you'd like to ask a question or make a comment, my email is kenroot@clearchannel.com. Editor's note: This is Ken Root's 34th year as an agricultural reporter. He grew up on a small farm in central Oklahoma and started his career as a vocational agriculture teacher. He worked in Oklahoma, Kansas and Missouri as a broadcaster and was the original host of AgriTalk. He has also been the executive director of the National AgriChemical Retailers Association in Washington, D.C. and the National Association of Farm Broadcasters in Kansas City. Ken is now the lead farm broadcaster at WHO and WMT Radio based in Des Moines, Iowa. He has been a columnist for HPJ and Midwest Ag Journal for seven years. 3/31/08 Date: 3/27/08
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