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Hovering parents only ensure their children never take off on tThe news report stopped me in the middle of my morning routine. Fortune 500 companies are now starting to create orientation policies and programs tailored to the parents of their new graduate hires. Yes, you read that right, the parents of the most recent crop of college graduate employees want information about company policies, benefits and salaries so that they can continue to make life-altering decisions for their children. This all began when the Baby Boomers started having babies of their own in the 1980s. From birth, to private school and even into college, this generation of parents has been incredibly controlling of their children's activities and choices. There's a reason why a few years ago college administrators created the term "helicopter parents"--because these people hover over every aspect of their children's lives. Now, their children are graduating and employers are telling the tales of parents setting up job interviews for their 20-something children. There have been fathers calling firms asking about compensation packages for their sons, and mothers calling to complain that their daughters didn't have a fair chance at an interview. One father even called to negotiate his daughter's salary and bonus package. All I can say is it must be an urban thing. Really, can you imagine some rancher calling his son's college animal science instructor to change a grade or re-arrange a class schedule? Or, what about a farmer calling John Deere to set up an internship interview for his daughter? No, you can't. It's because we here in rural America have had to grow up thinking for ourselves in order for our family businesses to thrive. There is no time for a hovering parent when there's work to be done on the farm. Chances are if you're the parent of a "farm kid" you understand what I'm saying. You've had to explain the cycle of life to them at a young age--usually around the time the cow dog has her first litter of puppies. They've helped you with pulling calves, bottle feeding orphans, and dealing with the death of a few along the way. Or, they've driven a tractor and a hay rake before they could ride a bike. They've learned responsibility and accountability through their 4-H and FFA projects. Farm kids have chores that are vital to the family business, whether it's watering a pen of bulls before catching the bus, or bottle-feeding lambs at night before homework. And, they had to do them on their own. My own family was the same. My parents weren't cold people, but they taught me that life isn't always fair, and that if I want something I have to make it happen for myself. Be it a 4-H ribbon, or a job writing for a premiere farm publication, I alone am the master of my destiny. And, you know what? I grew up to be a self-sufficient woman who pays her bills on time, follows the law, and contributes to society. My ego isn't warped because my parents didn't intervene on my behalf in every little aspect of my life. My confidence isn't shattered because I didn't win every time I competed. In fact, I'm stronger because I fell down a few times and learned to pick myself back up and move on. Do my parents love me and my siblings? Unequivocally yes. Did they hurt a little for us each time we stumbled along the path? You can be sure they did. But, they were also the first ones to celebrate our accomplishments because they knew we did it on our own. Every ribbon, every trophy, meant that they'd done their job teaching us to handle life on our own. I can only cringe at the thought of my mother calling my publisher to complain about my workload. Or, the idea that my father would balance my checkbook for me each month and dole out an allowance. Sure, it would be nice to turn over the responsibility to someone else, but what good would it do me? In the end, I feel sorry for these children of overbearing helicopter parents. Not only are their parents' actions embarrassing, but sadly I'm afraid their "loving guidance" will turn out to be detrimental in the long run for their children's well-being and development. And, the thought of a 50-year-old who can't think for himself should be enough to snap anyone out of their morning routines. Jennifer M. Latzke can be reached by phone at 620-227-1807, or by e-mail at jlatzke@hpj.com. Date: 5/1/07
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