The overscheduled child

More than twenty years ago, in a book titled "The Hurried Child", author David Elkind noted the importance of allowing "kids to be kids". His concern at that time was that children were increasingly involved in so many school and extracurricular activities that they no longer had time just for themselves; to just play on the block with the neighbor kids or to set up a game of backyard dodge ball.

Recently, Kimberly Chastain, MS, LMFT, voiced concern that children no longer seem to have time to goof off and just be children; "goof off" time is not on their schedule (www.kimberlychastain.com). Along with that, parents also don't seem to be able to find time to play with their child, or to sit down to a meal together. Chastain suggests that this may be one reason why the number of children with anxiety and depression is increasing, and many children and adolescents describe themselves as "stressed out".

Some children can juggle many activities and thrive. Others may be at risk of becoming burned out from an overloaded schedule, and so may the whole family. Parents need to consider the following:

--Does your child complain that they never get to do the things at home that they want to do?

--Does your child have a genuine interest or passion for these activities, or is he/she participating because of your expectations?

--Have you become the family taxi driver, shuttling your child from activity to activity?

--How often is there an afternoon or evening when most of the family is home with no plans or scheduled activities?

--Are you and your children becoming increasingly irritable because of such a busy schedule?

Parents need to be aware of a child's need for time to just be a child, to entertain themselves, to enjoy quiet time on their own, and to be creative. In order to keep your family from being overscheduled, allow for "goof-off" time, and encourage children to play outdoors or try a new hobby. Learn to say "no" to additional activities, and do not say "yes" until the whole family determines the emotional costs of adding to their schedule.

Contributed by Karen Schueler, LCPC, Manager, Consultation and Education Department.

Mail questions to: High Plains Mental Health Center, PLAIN SENSE, Consultation and Education Department, 208 East 7th, Hays, KS 67601; www.highplainsmentalhealth.com.

Date: 9/19/06

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