Dear Plain Sense: My 5th grade child is such a perfectionist! Especially when it comes to homework. It seems like nothing but the best is acceptable to her. She worries and frets that it will not be "good enough."

Some children are just naturally more particular that others, whether it be the clothes they wear, their bedroom decor, or school assignments. While it is admirable when a child really cares about their work, too high of expectations can lead to frustration for them, as well as for parents and teachers.

Always recognize your child's feelings, even when their reasoning may not make sense to adults. Acknowledge that they feel bad, or sad, or frustrated, and encourage them to talk about it. In addition, praise the effort that is being made and don't focus only on the final result or ultimate grade. Children need a lot of reassurance. Don't get caught up trying to correct the homework. Ask your child to consult with her teachers, and let them provide the guidance.

Be a good role model. Sometimes parents think they must be perfect, and the child believes the same. Let your child know that it is OK to be unsure, to make mistakes, and to ask for help. Let them know that you have done the same, both as an adult and as a child growing up.

Keep in mind that children also need time away from structured work, just as adults do. Playing outside, listening to music, or just doing nothing is especially important for the self-driven child who thinks he or she must always be involved in something productive. Kids, too, need some time for relaxing and dreaming.

Contributed by Karen Beery, LCPC, Manager, Consultation and Education Department.

Mail questions to: High Plains Mental Health Center PLAIN SENSE, Consultation and Education Department, 208 East 7th, Hays, KS 67601; or visit www.highplainsmentalhealth.com.