Finally, a breakthrough peace treaty.

No, the discussions weren't held in the Middle East, and I sincerely doubt former President Jimmy Carter was called in to monitor the process. Still, an age-old grudge was finally put to rest.

In Chicago, consumers will now be able to buy packages of hot dogs and buns in quantities of eight, thus ending the eternal frustration of having too many hot dog buns leftover at picnics.

I know I can sleep a little easier at night.

According to a news story out of the CBS affiliate in Chicago, Vienna Beef and Alpha Baking Co., manufacturers of S. Rosen's buns, will sell the buns and hot dogs in similar numbers. They even signed a "piece treaty" that sets the packaging number at eight. Evidently, consumers were tired of having to buy 24 of both hot dogs and buns in order to ensure that there were no inequities at their cookouts.

Come to think of it, I just knew that someday that junior high math class would be useful in my every day life.

"Johnny has to buy hot dogs and buns for the class picnic, but the hot dogs come in packages of eight, and buns come in packages of 12. How many of each would Johnny have to purchase so that there would be no leftover hot dogs or buns?"

What the problem should say is that Johnny, who didn't take his junior high math class as seriously as I did, is standing in front of the meat case with a migraine. In a fit of purely male frustration, he quickly loses his cool, grabs as many packages as he can carry and takes his chances that there will be one hot dog without a bun at the picnic. And thus, another cookout is doomed for lack of mathematical comprehension.

Oh the humanity.

I don't know about you, but the problem of bunless hot dogs has never been that important around our family picnic table. We were more concerned that Dad would light himself on fire over the grill, or the barn cats would attempt to walk through the potato salad. Priorities, people, priorities.

But, back to the Chicago announcement--the news release also stated that the former inequities "resulted in more than 2 million hot dog buns a year wasted." So, that leaves me with the question, what happened to the leftover hot dog buns?

Do they end up in landfills? Are there collectors out there looking for crusty buns in the shape of Abe Lincoln's hat that they'll sell on eBay?

I know in my household, they usually wind up being eaten by the dog. The infallible and every perky Heloise advises that they should be dried, seasoned and cubed to make croutons. And Martha Stewart sets them out for the birds and squirrels of her neighborhood. Some people advise refreezing them for the occasional one-hot-dog meal. And, I hear there's a guy in New York who's actually used them for a hot dog bun sculpture.

Sadly, the agreement between the two factions won't be nationwide for some time. For now, only select regions will be affected by this historic accord.

Makes you want to call in former President Carter and complain to get something done in your area, doesn't it?

Associate editor Jennifer Latzke can be reached at 620-227-1807, or by e-mail at jlatzke@hpj.com.

Date: 6/7/05

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