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How's the car running?
Oh, the agony of fathers of daughters--is anything else more ironic?
Not only do they have little understanding of women in general, like most men, but here they are helping to raise girls who will grow up to be women they don't understand.
Fortunately, Nature provided a grace period of about the first 10 years of a little girl's life, when she thinks her daddy can do no wrong, and in which he finds that the simplest of activities can be a bonding experience. Before the age of 10 or so, splashing in mud puddles and riding with daddy in the tractor are enough entertainment for little girls. At this stage, daddies can still fix the boo-boos, answer all the questions and leap tall buildings if need be. In her eyes he's Superman in a cowboy hat and coveralls.
But, somewhere around the age of 10 or 11, little girls start getting more interested in clothes and chattering with their other little girl friends than in hanging out in the shop while daddy fixes a broken sickle section on the swather. Daddies find themselves alone driving the feed wagon because his little buddy has now deemed silage to be too "icky" to be around. And, daughters are starting to suspect that the answers that their daddies gave them to all those questions were bunk.
Then, before the daddy is ready for it, his little girl changes yet again. This time, it's like an alien being has taken over his little girl--she's wearing makeup, dating boys, talking about moving off to college, and she is absolutely certain that her daddy knows nothing. He can't understand why she's crying over the boy next door, or her obsession with clothing, or why all of his beliefs are suddenly wrong and old-fashioned. A teenage daughter can confound a daddy so much he doesn't know whether to wind his ear or scratch his watch.
But, there's still one area of commonality between the two sides--the internal combustion engine.
Aha, says the daddy, still one place where I am king and master of the domain. He knows that she doesn't know a lot about engines, so he buys his daughter a semi-working vehicle that requires some maintenance, which he'll provide, and thus ensure he still has a spot in her heart. So now, instead of showing his love by buying her a new pony or building her a tree fort, he makes sure her clunker is still on the road and darting from one activity to another.
A genius plan if there ever was one.
Rather than actually say the awkward words that all daddies have in their hearts, they can now more manfully express their feelings toward their little girls through this one question. "How's your car running?" is Guy-Speak shorthand for "Are you okay? Do you need anything? Can I fix it? I love you."
Sure, daddies know exactly when the oil was last changed, the tires rotated, the fluids checked and the battery terminals cleaned. But, they need to ask the question to assess that their little girls, now grown women, still need them in their lives, without actually having to ask.
Better still, the area of car maintenance ensures the daddy an endless supply of gift-giving ideas, peace offerings, and advice opportunities. What daughter hasn't gotten a set of jumper cables for her 16th birthday? How many grown women can boast their dads have taken them shopping for windshield wipers on a visit over the holidays? And, who hasn't had the conversation with her father over the phone about the importance of fuel additives in winter conditions?
Hopefully, the daddy can weather the storm of his daughter's growing up with this ploy, until she becomes an adult. By then, she'll realize just how much love and concern has been packed into the question of her vehicle's maintenance for so many years. And, if the daddy's luck holds, he'll be blessed with granddaughters who will always think he's Superman.
Associate Jennifer Latzke can be reached by phone at 620-227-1807, or by e-mail at jlatzke@hpj.com. And yes, her car is running fine.
Date: 6/28/05
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