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I'd rather be sitting on a porch
There's just something about a house with a wrap-around porch that calls to me. Have you ever noticed that folks with large back porches or big backyard decks are more friendly than others? I don't mean to generalize, but in a way it is somewhat true. And, in a way, you could classify people in this world as to whether they are front door friends, or porch friends. You see, most folks who routinely use the front entrance to a home have a tendancy to be a little distant. Oh, they're friendly enough, but they often have a reason for making your aquaintance besides friendship. In the urban world they're called business associates and colleagues. They're the type of friends who knock or ring the doorbell and make appointments to stop by and chat. Whereas, porch friends know your hidden quirks and still love you anyway. Porch friends don't call before popping in, and rarely knock. Because of this, most have probably accidentally seen your family members in the buff and pass it off as normal behavior. They are closer than family, and often more welcome. Porch friends know that you never lock the house, the shop, the calving shed or your vehicles and that they can borrow anything at any time. They know the color of your cattle ear tags and will help the sheriff round them up off the highway if you're unavailable. Porch friends will pick their way through the pile of muddy five-buckle overboots, calf bottles, sorting sticks and assorted veterinary supplies crowding your mud room to visit you. And, they know that there's a hanger for their own dirty coveralls if they choose to take you up on that open place at the table at noon. Front door friends, though, are the ones who called the sheriff originally when your cattle mosied onto the blacktop. They never have time for a sit-down talk and have to make plans a month in advance for a meal at the local diner. They keep tabs on the neighbors but only to ensure that their own lives are much better--which they'll remind you if you let them. And, they make excuses when asked to buy whatever items your kids may be selling to raise funds for school, church, 4-H, FFA, or any other activity. Porch friends however, buy two of whatever your child is selling. They bring cookies for graduations, casseroles for weddings, and jello salads for births. They show up with a cleaning brigade when a family member is sick and in the hospital. They take care of the morning chores when there's a funeral. And they will sit at the kitchen table for a good cry when your world seems to be crumbling. Front door friends, though, ask if there's anything they can do and say things like, "It's for the best," and "This will pass," while patting your hand and checking their watch. Like everything in life, the key is balance. And so, we must have both kinds of friends in our lives. But I often ask myself, which one am I in the eyes of my own friends? Jennifer Latzke can be reached by phone at 620-227-1807, or by e-mail at jlatzke@hpj.com. Date: 2/23/04
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